You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
These tits shall not be calmed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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