I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
