do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
