whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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