someone get that fucking seahorse.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
