I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
