Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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