She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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