So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize