So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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