Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize