i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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