Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
