dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
