making cat noises will not fix the situation.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
