i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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