fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Randomize
