The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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