I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
