I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
