I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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