how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize