It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Randomize
