I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
