i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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