It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
