your parents love me but you hate me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
