I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I look better un-naked...
he thought i was a dude.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
