i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
