So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize