She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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