i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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