dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
