Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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