I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
