I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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