things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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