DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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