Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
