apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
