oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will pee on everything he values.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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