i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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