you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
