i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize