yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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