I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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