then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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