I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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