That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Actions speak louder than pants.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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