from now on my penis is your penis
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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