He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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