Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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