actually, I'm a sock model
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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