Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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