and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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