Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize