thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
