Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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