It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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