Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
