physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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