If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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