It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
