I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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