so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
