on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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