My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize
