I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
