Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
