They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
