Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"

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(417): View more from Missouri

true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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(850): View more from Florida

You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer

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(206): View more from Washington

Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

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(813): View more from Florida

I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.

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(440): View more from Ohio

If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up

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