i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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