You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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