This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize